The language of flowers

24 posts / 0 new
Last post
Andrewtoo
Andrewtoo's picture
The language of flowers

When I told neighbours Dave and Marian that I was a nudist, they asked if we had pampas grass in our garden. I said no then asked why we should. Marian said everybody knows that pampas grass is a sign that the house’s occupants are swingers.

After I had explained the difference between nudists and swingers, I wondered if there was a plant or shrub which indicated that the owners were nudists. Assuming that there isn’t, can any of the brains assembled here think of what would be appropriate? And does anyone have pampas grass?

Is this a good topic?: 

No votes yet
HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
There should deffo be a fig

There should deffo be a fig tree....those leaves can come in mighty handy LOL!!

devonguy_uk2002
devonguy_uk2002's picture
Great thought, HG. Strangely

Great thought, HG. Strangely, we do have a fair-sized fig tree in our garden - it must have been signalling my interest for years, without me realising!

HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
....of course, fig leaves are

....of course, fig leaves are far more appealing come Autumn ;-)

Tonyalfara
Tonyalfara's picture
No pampas grass but a

No pampas grass but a beautiful fig tree which is just fruiting.

HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
Then the Fig tree it is!!! I

Then the Fig tree it is!!! I’ve got a little one (!) and it’s up me back (!!) but I’m making it count...

Comment_Attachment: 

Tonyalfara
Tonyalfara's picture
Oh Happy Guy, I love your

Oh Happy Guy, I love your little fig tree. I am sure that with the right amount of love and attention that it will grow much larger.

HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
HaHaHaHaHa!!! Tony that has

HaHaHaHaHa!!! Tony that has tickled me!!

somerset
somerset's picture
Pampas grass is a devil for

Pampas grass is a devil for deep roots. Planted close enough to your home it will attempt to undermine the foundations. Don't do it. A bit like swinging, really.
PS Anyone considered how you are going to grow a fig tree north of Watford ???

Rogue
Rogue's picture
So , i need to get a fig

So , i need to get a fig tree , and then some Pampas grass which i will grow in a tub now thanks to somersets advice, and that is cool i can keep it out back and move to front garden when i want to advertise .
well well you live and learn.

HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
No problems Somerset...I live

No problems Somerset...I live in Wolverhampton and my fig tree may be small....but perfectly formed.

Black Scorpion
Black Scorpion's picture
Stick to Fig leaves. Pampas

Stick to Fig leaves. Pampas grass will slice you like a Razor

Grange1
Grange1's picture
Mother in law’s tongues.

Mother in law’s tongues.

naturiststeve
naturiststeve's picture
Male naturists could keep one

Male naturists could keep one of these in their window.

Comment_Attachment: 

AnP77
AnP77's picture
hey diddle diddle they got a

hey diddle diddle they got a bend in the middle

hughp
hughp's picture
And female naturists could

And female naturists could keep a coco de mer seed in the window, maybe?

Comment_Attachment: 

naturiststeve
naturiststeve's picture
I think we might have lowered

I think we might have lowered the tone Hughp

hughp
hughp's picture
By octaves!

By octaves!

Brendarella
Brendarella's picture
A fig leaf as a emblem is a

Bad idea. A fig leaf as a emblem signifies exactly the opposite of what naturism is about. It is viewed as the iconic object that covers someone up who's naked (presumably in case seeing a naked body would shock the public into madness).

And why did your neighbours have to ask you if you had a pampas grass in your garden? Surely, they would have seen it - they're over 10 feet tall with huge plumes. And if it had been in the back garden of the house then their comment about it signifying that the house is occupied by swingers makes even less sense.

We have had one in our front garden for years (a pampas grass, not a swinger), in fact it was already well-established when we moved in and we tried to get rid of it without success (which also makes the idea of it meaning "swingers here" as a bit daft). Now, it's bigger than ever and frequently attacks passers-by with it's razor sharp leaves. Maybe we should have it floodlit.

-= Brendarella =-

Black Scorpion
Black Scorpion's picture
My Pampas grass was out of

My Pampas grass was out of control,and I got feed up with driving the Swingers away :) A good dose of Roundup did the Job. On the Pampas not the swingers

jjwithamlao
jjwithamlao's picture
I like the idea of the fig

I like the idea of the fig tree, I too have a small one, but it is growing in spite of being North of Watford.
As for fig leaves being totally against what naturists stand for? Surely if the leaves stay on the tree then that shows we won’t damage the tree to hide our bodies, Brendarella.

Tonyalfara
Tonyalfara's picture
Cannot resist this. I cannot

Cannot resist this. I cannot help but admire my large fig when I am sunbathing naked in the garden. But now is time to remove the beautiful fruit and poach in red wine for my morning breakfast. It is a regular thing.

HappyGuy
HappyGuy's picture
Look at you bragging about

Look at you bragging about your large fig Tony...but nice to know you’re poaching your fruit ;-)

suncoaster
suncoaster's picture
Well...interestingly here's a

Well...interestingly here's a couple of fairly recent articles from national newspapers that confirms what Andrewtoo's neighbour said - pampas does seem to have the swinger connection!

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/pampas-grass-sales-swi...

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2017/may/31/pampas-gr...

In answer to Andrewtoo's question, what about a Birch, maple or sycamore as the 'in the know' symbol for naturists as these trees all willingly shed their bark. I vote for the birch myself as the wife bought one for our field last year so we're already set up to let other naturists know. :-)